Married couples should 'learn from infidelity'

Married couples should try to learn from infidelity and realise that there are many ways to betray one another other than from having sex with a bit on the side.

That is the opinion of Kate Figes, author of Couples: The Truth, which looks at the complexion of modern marriages and questions couples on love, sex and companionship.

Speaking to the Telegraph, she explained how since the 1970s, agony aunts have become more likely to suggest that women do not forgive husbands caught having a secret affair.

"I think we have become more sanctimonious about it," Ms Figes said.

"There is a notion that because marriage is a relationship we perceive as being less stable, because the social sanctions seem fewer, less reliable to us, fidelity has become more of a symbol of trust and commitment."

However, she explained that husbands and wives cheat in a number of ways, for instance by lying about whether they are meeting financial commitments.

The author recommended that married couples address the underlying issues that can lead to infidelity in order to rebuild their bond on "a better footing".

Meanwhile, marriage therapist Mira Kirshenbaum has told the Guardian that adulterous relationships can actually save marriages in some situations, as they force people to look at their situation and affect change.

She also urged those not sure about whether owning up to a secret affair to stay quiet.

Posted by Roger Motion

Category: Married dating strategy

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