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A couple of weeks ago I mentioned an adultery trial in Batavia U.S.A where a married woman - Suzanne Corona - was caught having adulterous nookie on a picnic table in view of members of the public.  The man, however, is only charged with ‘lewdness’ because he didnt realise she was amarried woman at the time.  This is more enlightened than the case of Sakineh Mohamamadi e Ashtiani a 43 yr old Iranian woman who is going to be stoned to death in Tabriz.  The adultery was complicated by the fact that she had 2 lovers and the not incidental fact that she murdered her husband.  Her lawyer is therefore arguing for hanging rather than stoning since the murder punishment should take precedence.

I’m home from my hols and busy catching up on all the nookie stories that happened over the past 2 weeks. I’ll post tomorrow and bring the blog up to date.

David

A new Tory MP who sought to woo Christian voters at the General Election has been caught cheating on her husband with a toyboy lover.

Caroline Nokes, 37, a ‘Cameron Cutie’ who once boasted that she was too attractive to be a politician, had the personal support of David Cameron during her election campaign.

But she has heaped embarrassment on the Prime Minister by being caught enjoying a tryst in a hotel room with James Dinsdale, a Conservative activist ten years her junior.

Mrs Nokes and her husband Marc, 42, who have an 11-year-old daughter and celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary last week, refused to comment.

But the MP’s young lover, a Conservative councillor and former leading light in the party’s youth wing, Conservative Future, said: ‘I can confirm Caroline Nokes and I have had a sexual relationship. I have no further comment to make.’

Last week’s tryst, said to be the latest secret meeting in a four-year affair, was revealed in a Sunday newspaper.

It was claimed that Mrs Nokes, who won Romsey and Southampton North from the Liberal Democrats with a 4,156 majority, had on Monday stayed late at the Commons for a debate on political reform.

She reportedly sent Mr Dinsdale a text from inside the chamber saying she was ‘bored to death’ before taking a taxi to the four-star Kensington Close hotel a couple of miles away.

Moments after she had gone into her £130-a-night room, Mr Dinsdale arrived dressed in a hoodie.

Well, it didnt take long for the tabloids to find some scandal in the new coalition did it?

We are running a very interesting thread in our forum about how to handle a man who wants to move an intimate ‘friendship’ to a ‘friendship with benefits’.  I know this subject crops up a lot in singles life but maybe less so on the LL side.  Women have often said that they have found great confidantes thru LL and to get ‘up close and personal’ would spoil it.   What do you think?  Why not log in to the forum and add your thoughts.

It is the story that is making all the noise on adultery-aware blogs so I ought to mention it here.  a couple in Batavia U.S.A were arrested for having an adulterous session on a picnic table in view of the public. I love the quote that they were ‘just talking’ I will cite the sory as I picked it up from the WIVB website:

Neighbors of Farrell Park in Batavia say they’re shocked - to say the least.

Dennis Gronau said, "I just feel for all the kids and mothers over there that had to endure that."

During the day on Friday, police arrested a couple for allegedly having sexual intercourse on a picnic table in view of adults and children. 41-year-old Suzanne Corona of Batavia is charged with public lewdness and the rare charge of adultery. Police say she is married to someone else.

"Because they were actively engaged in sexual intercourse when the officer arrived, it fit the circumstances for the statute," explained Officer Eric Hill of the Batavia Police Department.

Genesee County District Attorney Lawrence Friedman said, "It’s quite rare. I’ve been in the office for 28 years, and I recall one other time that we prosecuted somebody for adultery. There may have been others, but there’s only one that I recall."

29-year-old Justin Amend of Oakfield was also charged with public lewdness.

Officer Hill said, "He asked them what they were doing. They said, "Just talking."

Dottie and Danny Bastedo live so close to the park, they can see the picnic tables from their driveways.

Dottie said, "I think it’s disgusting. Why would you do it in a park in the first place with kids around?"

Frank Corradini said, "I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. I just can’t imagine someone even attempting to do something like that in front of other people."

Both individuals were issued appearance tickets. They’re due back in City Court on Tuesday afternoon.

Most Americans believe the concepts of fidelity and marriage go hand in hand. However, with the help of a former president, one married couple has set out to prove otherwise.

"It was Bill Clinton who first got Christopher Ryan thinking about monogamy," Washington Post Staff Writer Ellen McCarthy said of Ryan’s new book "Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality."

Ryan was a doctoral student during the scandal surrounding Clinton’s sexual affair with an intern, Monica Lewinsky, according to McCarthy. It made him wonder: "How is it that the most powerful man in the world is getting publicly humiliated for having a casual sexual relationship with someone?"

The book suggests that "we reevaluate the idea that monogamy comes naturally to men and women-and look at whether it should even be something we require of our spouses." Ryan wrote the book with his wife, psychiatrist Cacilda Jethá.

McCarthy wrote that idea that a person should find happiness and fulfillment with one sexual partner for a lifetime is a "myth," according to Ryan.

Ryan and Jethá claim to be advocates for marriage, because it provides "an emotionally and economically stable environment for a kid to grow up in." But, they say, a husband or wife should not expect fidelity from their spouse because they place "a lot suffering - and what I would say is unnecessary suffering - between couples who have unnecessary expectations of what life is going to be like."

The authors suggest that an act of sex outside marriage "doesn’t necessarily diminish the love one has for a spouse," according to the Post. Sex is "just sex," they say.

According to McCarthy, Ryan and Jethá trace many of our modern ideas about matrimony and monogamy back to Darwin and a Victorian understanding of sexuality.

Ryan’s and Jethá’s views differ greatly from the majority of Americans. According to Gallup, 92 percent of Americans view extramarital affairs as "morally wrong." A higher percentage viewed extramarital affairs as wrong than opposed polygamy, human cloning, suicide, or abortion.

Ryan and Jethá are hardly the first to attempt to normalize extramarital sex in American culture. A 2008 report by the Parents Television Council found that prime time broadcasting across five networks depicted or implied sex between non-married partners four times as often as it did so with married partners.

Strolling thru Kensington this afternoon I stumbled onto an amazing place that I have to mention.  It is so sexy I’m taking my lover there tomorrow evening.  It is called Aqua Sheko and it is London’s first acquatic foot spa!  You sit on a raised bench and your feet dangle into a fish tank where hundreds of tiny trained fish nibble at the dead skin on your feet and soften them gently.  This is a totally new sensual experience and I will report on it fully after my sexy toe job there tomorrow.

This morning I was combing thru the Daily mail as is my wont looking for some blog material and I came across an interesting news item.  Joan Bakewell who was every man’s ‘thinking crumpet’ in the 1970’s has apparently decided that Mary Whitehouse was right about the ‘monetisation of sex’.   Joan had always pushed for liberalisation in all matters sexual and for a modern attitude to sexual freedoms and saw Mary Whitehouse as her ‘bete noir’.  Joan now accepts that sex instead of being wholesome and liberating has become all about making money - well spotted!!!     This is like a considered report from the ministry of the bleedin’ obvious.    We all knew things were going wrong when the first thing the East Germans did when the borders opened was to pile into sex shops in the west.

A couple of years back we were approached to sell Loving Links to one of the big dating groups and talks broke down when it was obvious that they saw customers as ‘units’ rather than people.  They were mystified why I was prepared to actually speak to users on the phone - it had no place in their ‘botom line’.  The only concern they had was ROI (return on investment) from google ads and user retention (how long you could keep people renewing for).   In the end the culture gap was so large talks ended, I couldn’t bear to see LL go that way.    We all need to make money and of course LL is a business in that sense but I like to tjink that money is just a well earned payback from trying to help people get more fun out of their lives.

Well, should you?  Odd question but one that we have been discussing this week on our forum.  There is a wide range of opinions and I must admit it made me stop and think.  Is loving your lover the same knd of love you’d have or a partner? Would you want it to be?  Would falling in love with a lover present you with awkward choices?   Can lust turn into love or will it stay as lust?  Have a look at the forum thread and have your say.

When we launched loving links as a solution for boring celibate marriage we were classified by internet newsgroups as ‘alt lifestyle’ along with ‘hippies’, ‘vegans’ and ‘cross dressers’ - I used to post on ‘usenet’ community groups  and get attacked by radical polygamists who thought we were immoral.  These days I supposed we would just get classified into the ‘adult dating’ category as if all the philosophical arguments had been resolved.  Yet, last night I was thinking about ‘alt lives’ rather than ‘alt lifestyles’.  The reason being that a group of us went out on one of our regular Loving links evenings in London and booked a table at a burlesque club.  Amongst the crowd were several firm longterm pairs of lovers.  They looked so natural together, as lovers should, but they were actually living their ‘alternative lives’ rather than the lives that their friends and families normally witness.  Under other circumstances each of these LL individuals would be partnered at a function with someone completely different, the photos of laughing couples taken last night would be replaced other people.    I know this has been the theme of many films over the years where - often when a character dies - a whole secret life is discovered peopled with history and events that were happening in some strange yet parallel universe.   I know this sounds very philosophical for a bank holiday bit of blogging but even I get tired of Ashley Cole and Tiger Woods        For many people the idea of trying out life/intimacy/socialising with different partners simultaenously remains a fantasy and a daydream it is something that our friends here at Loving links do succeed in experiencing.  there is acceptance and reassurance that what is seen as an impossible ‘alt lifestyle’ for most  is in fact a very possible and enjoyable  ‘alt life’ for some of us.