It is the story that is making all the noise on adultery-aware blogs so I ought to mention it here.  a couple in Batavia U.S.A were arrested for having an adulterous session on a picnic table in view of the public. I love the quote that they were ‘just talking’ I will cite the sory as I picked it up from the WIVB website:

Neighbors of Farrell Park in Batavia say they’re shocked - to say the least.

Dennis Gronau said, "I just feel for all the kids and mothers over there that had to endure that."

During the day on Friday, police arrested a couple for allegedly having sexual intercourse on a picnic table in view of adults and children. 41-year-old Suzanne Corona of Batavia is charged with public lewdness and the rare charge of adultery. Police say she is married to someone else.

"Because they were actively engaged in sexual intercourse when the officer arrived, it fit the circumstances for the statute," explained Officer Eric Hill of the Batavia Police Department.

Genesee County District Attorney Lawrence Friedman said, "It’s quite rare. I’ve been in the office for 28 years, and I recall one other time that we prosecuted somebody for adultery. There may have been others, but there’s only one that I recall."

29-year-old Justin Amend of Oakfield was also charged with public lewdness.

Officer Hill said, "He asked them what they were doing. They said, "Just talking."

Dottie and Danny Bastedo live so close to the park, they can see the picnic tables from their driveways.

Dottie said, "I think it’s disgusting. Why would you do it in a park in the first place with kids around?"

Frank Corradini said, "I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. I just can’t imagine someone even attempting to do something like that in front of other people."

Both individuals were issued appearance tickets. They’re due back in City Court on Tuesday afternoon.

Most Americans believe the concepts of fidelity and marriage go hand in hand. However, with the help of a former president, one married couple has set out to prove otherwise.

"It was Bill Clinton who first got Christopher Ryan thinking about monogamy," Washington Post Staff Writer Ellen McCarthy said of Ryan’s new book "Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality."

Ryan was a doctoral student during the scandal surrounding Clinton’s sexual affair with an intern, Monica Lewinsky, according to McCarthy. It made him wonder: "How is it that the most powerful man in the world is getting publicly humiliated for having a casual sexual relationship with someone?"

The book suggests that "we reevaluate the idea that monogamy comes naturally to men and women-and look at whether it should even be something we require of our spouses." Ryan wrote the book with his wife, psychiatrist Cacilda Jethá.

McCarthy wrote that idea that a person should find happiness and fulfillment with one sexual partner for a lifetime is a "myth," according to Ryan.

Ryan and Jethá claim to be advocates for marriage, because it provides "an emotionally and economically stable environment for a kid to grow up in." But, they say, a husband or wife should not expect fidelity from their spouse because they place "a lot suffering - and what I would say is unnecessary suffering - between couples who have unnecessary expectations of what life is going to be like."

The authors suggest that an act of sex outside marriage "doesn’t necessarily diminish the love one has for a spouse," according to the Post. Sex is "just sex," they say.

According to McCarthy, Ryan and Jethá trace many of our modern ideas about matrimony and monogamy back to Darwin and a Victorian understanding of sexuality.

Ryan’s and Jethá’s views differ greatly from the majority of Americans. According to Gallup, 92 percent of Americans view extramarital affairs as "morally wrong." A higher percentage viewed extramarital affairs as wrong than opposed polygamy, human cloning, suicide, or abortion.

Ryan and Jethá are hardly the first to attempt to normalize extramarital sex in American culture. A 2008 report by the Parents Television Council found that prime time broadcasting across five networks depicted or implied sex between non-married partners four times as often as it did so with married partners.

Strolling thru Kensington this afternoon I stumbled onto an amazing place that I have to mention.  It is so sexy I’m taking my lover there tomorrow evening.  It is called Aqua Sheko and it is London’s first acquatic foot spa!  You sit on a raised bench and your feet dangle into a fish tank where hundreds of tiny trained fish nibble at the dead skin on your feet and soften them gently.  This is a totally new sensual experience and I will report on it fully after my sexy toe job there tomorrow.

This morning I was combing thru the Daily mail as is my wont looking for some blog material and I came across an interesting news item.  Joan Bakewell who was every man’s ‘thinking crumpet’ in the 1970’s has apparently decided that Mary Whitehouse was right about the ‘monetisation of sex’.   Joan had always pushed for liberalisation in all matters sexual and for a modern attitude to sexual freedoms and saw Mary Whitehouse as her ‘bete noir’.  Joan now accepts that sex instead of being wholesome and liberating has become all about making money - well spotted!!!     This is like a considered report from the ministry of the bleedin’ obvious.    We all knew things were going wrong when the first thing the East Germans did when the borders opened was to pile into sex shops in the west.

A couple of years back we were approached to sell Loving Links to one of the big dating groups and talks broke down when it was obvious that they saw customers as ‘units’ rather than people.  They were mystified why I was prepared to actually speak to users on the phone - it had no place in their ‘botom line’.  The only concern they had was ROI (return on investment) from google ads and user retention (how long you could keep people renewing for).   In the end the culture gap was so large talks ended, I couldn’t bear to see LL go that way.    We all need to make money and of course LL is a business in that sense but I like to tjink that money is just a well earned payback from trying to help people get more fun out of their lives.

Well, should you?  Odd question but one that we have been discussing this week on our forum.  There is a wide range of opinions and I must admit it made me stop and think.  Is loving your lover the same knd of love you’d have or a partner? Would you want it to be?  Would falling in love with a lover present you with awkward choices?   Can lust turn into love or will it stay as lust?  Have a look at the forum thread and have your say.

When we launched loving links as a solution for boring celibate marriage we were classified by internet newsgroups as ‘alt lifestyle’ along with ‘hippies’, ‘vegans’ and ‘cross dressers’ - I used to post on ‘usenet’ community groups  and get attacked by radical polygamists who thought we were immoral.  These days I supposed we would just get classified into the ‘adult dating’ category as if all the philosophical arguments had been resolved.  Yet, last night I was thinking about ‘alt lives’ rather than ‘alt lifestyles’.  The reason being that a group of us went out on one of our regular Loving links evenings in London and booked a table at a burlesque club.  Amongst the crowd were several firm longterm pairs of lovers.  They looked so natural together, as lovers should, but they were actually living their ‘alternative lives’ rather than the lives that their friends and families normally witness.  Under other circumstances each of these LL individuals would be partnered at a function with someone completely different, the photos of laughing couples taken last night would be replaced other people.    I know this has been the theme of many films over the years where - often when a character dies - a whole secret life is discovered peopled with history and events that were happening in some strange yet parallel universe.   I know this sounds very philosophical for a bank holiday bit of blogging but even I get tired of Ashley Cole and Tiger Woods        For many people the idea of trying out life/intimacy/socialising with different partners simultaenously remains a fantasy and a daydream it is something that our friends here at Loving links do succeed in experiencing.  there is acceptance and reassurance that what is seen as an impossible ‘alt lifestyle’ for most  is in fact a very possible and enjoyable  ‘alt life’ for some of us.

We have been running Loving Links for around 15 years now.  This is a couple of centuries in ‘web life’ and we are the oldest established genuine extramarital site around.  Over the last couple of years I felt we were getting buried under the morass of ’start-up’ sites that claimed to serve our marketplace.  It is really difficult to sift the good sites from the bad and it is easy for any site to buy search engine postion with advertising money.  Of course on the non-paid search engine listing we always feature in the top 2 or 3 in our sector.  We have now received ‘Google news provider’ status from Google which is the highest accolade a site can receive in its own sector.  You can’t buy this, you have to earn it and it is the equivalent of a Michelin star for a restaurant.  Apart from our blog page(s) Google will distribute the news content we have on our site.  This means means that LL  is considered by Google as the ‘authorative reference’ for our sector.

According to Lucy Cavendish writing in ‘Femail’ magazine today it is often counter-productive to dig too deeply into your husband’s activities since it could open a whole Pandora’s box of problems.  Cavendish says that although her husband has 3 mobile phones she would never dream of checking their content.  She cites the cases of friends who have dug too deeply into mobile phone and internet activity and facebook friends.  As she puts it, ‘ Our electronic suspicions are killing our marriages, it is time to leave those mobile phones where they are and learn to trust again’.

Here is a ‘how to do it’ link if you want to know what you should watch out for.

So there we have the day’s headlines - Ronan Keating fessing up to having fun with a backing dancer and scientists creating a new life form.  Well certainly the adulterous celebrity is not one of those      Then we have some reat marital advice from Ms Kidman - never let your bloke out of your sight for more than 3 days!  Especially if he has a history of alchohol and partying.   Add to the mix the stunning revelation in the Mail that miserable husbands get a better time at home than guys who are unexplicably happy and the temptation for me to go off fishing grows ever stronger!

Back in the 1960’s I vividly recall sharing a salt beef sandwich with David Triesman who moved in the same social circle as me.  I remember him as being the first truly bonkers football supporter I’d ever chatted with.  I was a Spurs supporter but Triesman verged on the fanatic.  In those days foreign travel was a big deal event but young Triesman was there following the Spurs team coach as it wended its merry way across europe.  Back in those days of halcyon innocence I don’t suppose he expected to have an illustrious career brought down by an extramarital affair and I didnt expect to be chronicling it.   It does seem rather sad though he vainly believed that his sagging frame and thinning hair would be the only reason a tasty flame-haired babe would consider sharing his bed.  She was looking for her pay-off , her moment of tabloid fame and the useful cheque, poor David Triesman walks away in disgrace and disappointment.  On the bright side though, Spurs are in the champions league next season.