Before you can post a comment you must register - by clicking this link.

I guess many of our readers would take great care with incriminating text messages.  Those little sexy texts that brighten our day.  We get them, we smile to ourselves and then click delete.  End of story - but is it?  Not neccesarily  - there are cunning devices out there that cost around £60.00 that can resurrect your deleted texts with scary  accuracy.  Look at this little number

Best bet is to have a seperate pay as you go phone with a sim that never ever leaves its secure place , desk, briefcase etc.   Do not assume that a text deleted is a worry removed - it is no longer the case.

Lovely new client today.  I asked her what her story was - ‘why us, why now?’   she replied that so far only her hairdresser knew the score.  She then added me to her list of confidantes.  The details don’t matter but it prompted me to think on who women confide in apart from their close friends and do men confide in anybody at all?  Certainly I have a group of clients who are kind enough to wine and dine me at regular intervals so that they can tell me what they have been up to and get my reaction.  One of them is a top barrister and she saves up all her dating stories for a twice-yearly afternoon tea in town with me.  I am the only person she can tell these things to.  Maybe I should suggest her hairdresser?   I did have a client for a while who drove me bonkers with tales of his conquests and for my murmurs of approval that he had graduated into the hall of heroes.  Certainly, neither his close friends or colleagues would have imagined he was a wannabe swordsman so he had to bite his tongue about impressing them with his seductive prowess.  I notice this attitude with guys who have come to dating quite late in life and never dated much in their early years and probably married their first proper girlfriend straight from university.

I havent blogged for a week or so mainly because I have been travelling with restricted online access and also I had a hell of a lot of other things to do.

But life here at Links castle never really stops - here we are on a sunny saturday and i just had a meeting with a very nice lady who travelled in from Essex to meet me.  I am glad she did, I am sure we will find someone special for her.   She was rather shy which I like as a quality (better than brazen) and with realistic hopes in the romantic arena.  She was a very independent type of single mum who has fared very well for herself over the years and doesnt want to give up her own freedom when she dates.

Noticed a piece in the Daily Mail the other day about guys losing their sex drive in a long term relationship.  I do get a lot of women saying that their bloke had gone ‘all pipe and slippers’ on them when they hit 50 and as we know a woman in her 50’s is hot to trot 24/7!   So we delight in the pipe and slipper brigade since it sends the wives to us looking for a bit more.

Back to regular blogging tomorrow.

I was reading an interesting piece in The Mail today  by Clare Catford who went into rehab for her love addiction.  I was especially intersted with one of her comments

Dan and I dated for a year and the relationship was quickly intense sexually and emotionally, because that’s what I craved."

For Clare, it marked the start of a decade of unhealthy, addictive relationships with men.

"I finished with Dan after that exciting initial period ended because I craved that intensity again…

It is this intensive initial period that fascinates me because I have always believd that is what LL provides best - what I call the ‘pink fluffy period’ at the start of the relationship when everything is an explosion of chemicals and hormones.  It is what the Observer quoted me as calling ‘the crack cocaine’ of relationships.  

"I was with heroin and cocaine addicts in rehab," says Clare, "and I realised that our addictions were fundamentally the same.

I see this addiction time and time again especially amongst longterm private clients and I think it is essentially different and more interesting than the ‘I want a shag’ brigade who congregate in the sex industry and porn parlours.   I think Clare’s need to go into rehab is a trifle extreme and although she says it is now under control I have my doubts.  I know in my own case I am a ‘lapsed’ smoker but there are times I am am so so close to having a ciggie

One of the really great things about LL is the offline social side of the community.  Tonight I am really looking forward to meeting up with 15 or so of our forum users for a drinks party in London.  These things happen spontaneously, someone is down in London on business pops up a post on the forum to see if anyone fancies meeting up.  Abracadabra!   We have a drinks party with 15+ men and women spending a fun evening - nothing sleazy, just a group of chums having a laugh and a gossip.  As one of our users said on TV - ‘Loving links is a sef-selecting group of nice people’.   Hard to believe that ‘nice’ adult dating services can survive and prosper in the face of  the anonymous and agressive sex industry on the net.  In fact this has been one of our best months ever and with a load of press and TV in the pipeline I am confident we will be helping quality peope enjoy quality extramarital fun for many years to come.

be very careful when you send texts to a contact.  I had feedback yesterday from a female client who was texted  on a saturday by a guy she had recently met.   This is just not on!  If a woman is married you cannot text her on weekends unless she has especially asked you to do so.  All texting should be kept to weekday working hours.  I know how easy it is to send a casual text but think a moment beore you push the button, just because your partner is not sitting next to you at that moment it doesnt mean that the person you are texting is equally free.  Emails tend to be less of a problem but texts are potentially intrusive and must be sent with great care.

Running a website is a very odd form of commerce it seems to go in peaks and troughs.  This last week it was incredibly busy - it was almost as if we were a vortex sucking in all the spare testoterone from the country as subscribers flooded in.  Now all is peaceful again and I can catch up on admin.  In 12 years of this game the only pattern is that there is no pattern.  The only day we have almost zero activity is Xmas day.  We expect a lot of activity though later this month with a planned editorial piece in a major national publication. 

I was just reading the latest issue of Scarlet magazine (I get it free ‘cos we advertise) and they have a wonderful agaony aunt column.   Some girl is concerned that her new boyfriend only gets turned on if she shoves a butt plug up his arse.  Advice ranges from - ‘didnt the faintest lighbulb go on in your mind that he might be less than 100% heterosexual?’ to the ‘let’s try a super new sex thing called normal naked sex’  Also one advisor said at least he doesnt want to shove it up your arse!   Scarlet is wonderful fun  and it seems to be doing very well we welcome their readers with open arms.

I had coffee this morning with a neighbour, a really bright woman who does market research.  She told me that from her experience and the women she had interviewed over the years that adultery was normally a guy thing.  That men were genetically programmed to play away whereas women were basically faithful.  She was startled when I explained to her that Loving Links is propelled by the women and that it is the women who drive the service.  I mentioned all this to a woman who signed up with me later in the day, a senior legal consultant and she had a good laugh.  ‘What a strange opinion’ she said ‘ what sort of women has she been interviewing - she ought to talk to me and my friends’.  She then launched into a wonderful collection of anecdotes of her extra-curricular pastimes with a vocabulary that wouldnt be out of place in a men’s locker room.  I am sure I would also have got a chuckle out of the middle aged, middle class female lawyer I saw yesterday who brought me up to speed about her dating this month.   No , dear reader, adultery is not about a bunch of guys running around with erections looking for release its equally about women looking for satisaction outside their marriages and being prepared to fnd it.

I have never felt closer to my global mission than I did this week when I signed up 2 delightful Zimbabwean women - as bright and as fresh as a tropical garden.  Both were graduate students from excellent families and I had a long chat with them over the election fiasco.  Although in their early 20’s they seemed so much more mature than English grls of a similar age who I would be very reluctant to take into our service.  Its a while since we have had African clients althoough I also took on a French woman of African descent the other week.  She, however, saw herself as "french’ which bodes well for ethnic integration in Europe.