I am absolutely inclined to give David Beckham the benefit of the doubt in his denials over a prostitution scandal in an American magazine.   Its not that the ‘boy Beckham’ doesnt have form – remember Rebecca Loos?  – but this whole allegation feels like a stich up. Becks has worked hard to repair his family image after te Loos scandal and he has seen what these exposees have done to Tiger.  A couple of whores in a hotel threesome just doesnt ring true for me.

When the tabloids look at extramarital activity – as they do to excess – they ‘sex it all up’ as it were.   They tantalise their readers with tales of ‘knee-trembling’ encounters and footballers in ‘roasting’ sessions in 5 star hotels.  If you actually want to know the truth behind the fantasy then do read a thread that we are running on our forum on ‘the heirarchy of needs’  – the comments are there better than I could ever express myself.   I urge you to read it.

‘Second chance’ that’s the chance that comes before ’3rd chance’.  Wayne has been forgiven on the basis that he’s so thick he doesn’t do ‘moral codes’ .  Coleen can hardly blame this neanderthal specimen for throwing dosh on prosssies.  It wasn’t disrespecting of her because he probably doesnt actually understand what repect/disrespect means.   It is an example of that phrase ‘love is too fine a sentiment for the likes of him’.   Am I moralising?  No, not really its just that I like adulterers to be thoughtful about what they are doing.   Adultery is an art form, a philosophy, a sweet seduction.  A quick shag in a Manchester hotel for £1200 doesnt cut the mustard.  Sorry Wayne, but your seedy little bonk isnt worthy of our blog…

i am sure than tomorrow morning the News of the world will have new disclosures about young Wayne.  Whores and wannabe wags will be telling their story and filling their fake Vuitons with dosh.  I just read a very good piece on Rooney and his choice of  company (prostitutes) in the Daily telegraph.  Its worth a read.

Just had a bizarre phone call from a guy in Malta.

"Is that David?"

- yes

"I am calling from Malta I saw your ad in Private Eye"

- How can I help?

"Do you have a list of women ?"

-  Are you coming to England?

"No, I pay the woman to come to Malta.."

- thanks, and have a good day

I spent a lot of my life working in PR and marketing and I am well versed in finding ‘hooks’ for news stories.  There was a very tenuous link on Google News today that Tiger woods was crossing the path of Infidelity writer Sarah Symonds.  He won’t actually be meeting her or even talking to her but he will be visiting Wales  in the Ryder Cup.  Ms Symonds hails from Newport hence she and Tiger will be crossing paths.   In a similar vein I suppose he will be crossing paths with Charlotte Church  (more likely) or Tom Jones (I’m sure they’d have much to chat about!).

According to the Daily mail today I don’t think we should expect a Tiger-style confessional from young Wayne  ‘I have sinned’ .  Apparently Shrek doesnt give a striker’s XXXX for his situation.  Well, we will all see how he feels when Coleen’s lawyers get their nasty little teeth into his muscular arse.  He just doesn’t appreciate how the sophisticated face of Argos jewelery upgraded his life and image.

There are blog moments when I believe in God.  Things look slow for a moment, Tiger puts his clubs away and the mad mullahs hang up their whips.  And then… Wayne Rooney and the excort girl.  What a great story and one that will fill my blog for days to come.  Lots of revelations still to ooze out, a cascade of wannabe z-list whores telling it all to the tabloids – ah.. bliss.

So what is Coleen going to do?  What penalties will she exact from blubbering Wayne?  Fortunately she is already launched as a ‘celeb’ in her own right and might keep some status as Wayne’s ex.  And Fabio? Will he put Shrek into touch for moral misdemeanours?  Happy days on celeb adultery front!

One of our users on the forum ‘Stingray’ popped up a joke item that made me chuckle.  If you don’t catch it on the forum, here it is:

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.

4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.

5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

Passions have been running high in Cheshire recently when Michael Roberts,26, killed his new bride Vicky, 25, when she found out he had been having an affair whilst he was courting her.  He claims it was all as sex game that went wrong – " I strangled her a bit too hard m’lud"      Whether that defence will cut the Runcorn mustard is to be determined.

Meanwhile Ashely Cole and Cheryl otherwise known as CAC and AC  are busy untying the knot in the courts today.  Quite pleased to see this story end, Ashley was an uninspiring adulterer nowhere in the league of the great Tiger Woods whose own divorce came thru the other week.

Just cathcing up after a busy Summer doing very little…