With all its majestic originality the News of the world produces its ‘Love Rat Report’ in Fabulous Mag (its glossy supplement). And, would you believe, their shock warning will ‘rock your relationship’…  So what do we learn?  well from a beauty therapist (aka manicurist) we hear of her heart pounding when he revealed he was married.  Now suzanne our manicurist doesnt’t usually do married guys but this time she ‘couldn’t stop thinking about Kevin’.  So now 14 months on she finds herself giving him marriage advice wich presumably includes shagging her once a week

We then meet meet another tabloid cardboard cut out called Paul who was grossly overwieight and felt unfancied. He remortgaged the family home in Doncaster (what is it with these Northerners?) and had a gastric band operation for £7000 (proably the net worth of the house) and lost half his bodyweight - he also seems to have lost ahis perspective since he became a serial love rat - 20+ babes fell under his slender gaze. His wife kicked him out but she in now trying to love him again - God knows why.

Finally this shocking report introduces Bettina whose husband Sam was caught shagging Kate - mobile texts did it - .  Bettina’s first reaction was to lose a stone in weight hoping it would bring Sam back - I’m amazed she didnt mortgage her home and have a gastric band operation or some lipo like Paul did.  She tried for a few months but in the end it all went pear-shaped so she is happily single.

Wow! How many relationshis did these revleations rock this weekend??

We are just launching a new blog page to chronicle the real life affair of Lucy - a loving links ‘lovely’.  The blog is  lucy’s marital affair blog

and the lovely Lucy will be keeping us informed on her romance.  You can subscribe to the rss feed directly from the blog page.

Lovely piece in the press this week.  Apparently boys who have nannies go on to be unfaithful because they learn at an early age that women can be there to serve their needs and comforts.  Any old excuse, probably wouldnt get Tiger or John terry off the hook though.

Loving links had a good publicity moment on thursday with ITV’s ‘This Morning Show,  I had my 3rd close encounter with agony aunt Denise and I believe, modestly, that I got the best of it.  The site has been rocking since then with dozens (nay hundreds) of sign ups.

This is an open letter to the fragrant Sam Cam:

Dear Sam

You’ve got to think outside the box, the Brown’s have out-twittered you and all mumsnet can offer is a quiz on biscuits or tidiness around the home.  So why not come on LL which is mumsnet for women with edge.  We will give you space to make your case on the BB or in live chat - join us after 10pm and tell Aria, FIML and Magenta why we should vote for Dave.   Aria can pose you questions straight from the rolling hills of the home counties and Magenta can give it to you straight from Essex.  Expect to be asked whether the sex with Dave is raunchy - is it ‘missionary’ or ‘chocolate starfish attack’ .  When you are not holding fund raisers in Notting hill are you at ‘Killing Kittens’ parties?  

We know that Dave has pushed hard on the ‘family’ ticket but is he ready to embrace the modern LL family with outside carnal interests.  Maybe we could get tax rebates on Travel Lodge bookings ?    Remember Sam, adulterers are a big demographic, well educated and politicised, surely we are worthy of your time and consideration.

Warmly

David M

In the 1980’s I lived in Paris and Sarkozy was my local Mayor in Neuilly s/s and he was a big deal lady killer back then.  Every fragrant lady in our chic part of Paris would have gladly spend all night long giving Sarkozy her ‘vote’.    He spent years being adored before he moved onto the national/intl stage,  He is no beginner.  Carla Bruni has also made clear that she thinks monogamy is something you make furniture with - they are a perfect couple!   I assume that they will drift into a nice, workable gallic arrangement whilst staying together as a couple.   I look forward to seeing how this develops.

It is often said that adulterers have a high risk personality.  If this is your case you should make sure to have an affair in Agra India.  Last week a couple indulging in a sexy session were grabbed by the cuckolded husband, doused in kerosene and set ablaze - they died of course. 

Tallahassee in the States is no safer, an irate husband is in court for alledgedly hanging his missus for having an extramarital affair. Of course, if you want the state to give you a painful adrenalin rush then many muslim countries will oblige with a well placed flogging or stoning.