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I just spotted a poll from some S.African facebook posting and I pass you the link.  The question is an old chestnut:: is sex better with a secret lover or a regular partner?   Well, I suppose that’s why we are all here isn’t it?  We all think a secret lover is going to give a better/different buzz to your regular squeeze.   Quite often you can be disappointed and realise that once past the fantasy the actual sex can be quite mundane and less reassuring than with a regular partner. Of course for a lot of people who are in a fairly celibate relationship anything is an improvement!  Sex with a secret lover can of course be more adventurous and experimental.  If you’ve been married to someone for 20 years you are unlikely to spread peanut butter on their nipples.  New tastes, new smells, new pillow whispers, it’s like Xmas morning with a new pressie to unwrap.