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So another wag hires Max Clifford to spill her heart out to the News of the World.  According to Max she is the hottest story in town.   That John Terry has been shagging around is hardly a suprise but I suppose I should mention it in my blog.  What concerns me is whether this should impact on his role as England captain and if so, why?   It seems to me extraordinarily hypocritical that the ‘great and the good’ of football/politics/media etc should be sitting in judgement on John Terry’s sex life.  It was only the other year that Farah (fire alarm) Alam was throwing her knickers all over the FA boardroom and most of the miscreants got little more than a slap on the wrist.   Terry will suffer in his pocket - as did Tiger Woods - when the sponsorship dries up.  This is fair do’s - sportsmen get sponsorship dosh when they match up to the image they present to their public.  It is not fair however, to suggest that sexual misdemeanours stop them heading the ball into the back of the net or hitting a ball into a hole that most of us can barely see.

Apparently a group has been set up on facebook to stop an adult dating website (not us!!!) from running billboard posters touting their services.  If the posters are as tacky as their site then I would support the ban on the grounds of good taste alone.  I also worry about our sort of dating being brought too blatantly into the public arena, I don’t think it benefits a discreet adulterer lifestyle.  Not that the site in question has any interest beyond drawing in the punters.  I glanced at the site and it was full of impossibly provocative women  pouting at male punters.  Tits out for the lads and credit cards out for the site owners!!  Ah well, caveat emptor.

According to research at Sheffield University there is a severe shortage of homegrown UK sperm available for donations.  It seems that wome are having to go abroad or order a bottle-full online.   Solution!!!  A quick subscription to loving links and they can fill themselves to joyous excess free of charge and they will probably get a nice meal thrown in.  If speed is of the essence they can give me a call and I’ll invite them to our members party on Feb 5th in London where they can get a donation on the spot!

So the Tiger is in a sex addiction clinic on the offchance that Elin might come home.  We wish him well but does anyone seriously believe for one moment that he will ever hang up his clubs?  Once its clear that neither Elin or his sponsors are coming home he will be potting every birdie he can fit in.  

I had a potential client around to see me the other day, apparently he got caught shagging the nanny - Jude Law style - it seems the wife was none too happy and kicked him out from the marital bedroom.  He is still seeing the nanny (I love her deeply David, it wasn’t just the sex)  but now wants a spare to tick him over whilst he sorts himself out.  All this with a deluded ‘my marriage is important to me’.     

At a moment in my life - back in the mists of time - I studied the social sciences.  One of the main things we did to be ’scientific’ was to categorise stuff and name it.  This was a fairly pointless exercise - most people can spot ‘ a deprived housing enviroment’  or a ‘bureaucrat’ or an ‘urban society’ yet lots of academics/writers spend their lives classifying and identifying things that are blindingly obvious.  I noticed a piece in the Mail the other day which insisted on classifying different types of affair.

We have the ‘accidental affair’ can be anything from a one-off encounter to a full-blown affair - you are having coffee with an acquaintace and you fall into bed.

Thre is the ‘cry-for-help’ affair where the participants don’t bother to cover their tracks so that their partner can realise that something is going on.

This in turn leads to the retalitory affair where the cheated partner has a fling themselves.

Then we come to the ’self-medication affair’   ‘ Should I just stop the nonsense and accept my sexless marriage?’  i.e join loving links (I like this one!!)

Then they identify the ‘tripod affair’ which spreads the load across the main and extra relationship.

They also identify the ‘exploratory affair’ and the ‘exit affair’ which are fairly self-explanatory.

My question is this:  Does knowing what sort of affair you are having actually make it more exciting/interesting/less guilty?  Aren’t we over-complicating for the sake of spinning out a book/research grant etc?  I know that most of my affairs were ‘exploratory’ as in ‘I just wanted to explore her body’

Mrs Robinson the Irish politician who had sex with a guy 40 years her junior is being treated for insanity.  This is like the good old days when women were treated for delirium when they had an orgasm.  Of course ‘madness’ is the only possible explanation for a woman to betray her husband and according to the Daily Mail she did it more than once! So Tiger Woods with at least 15 scalps on his belt is just a ‘horny golfer’  Mrs Robinson who won’t even reach double figures is bonkers!  I meet a lot of delirious women in the course of my work

Happy new year!  I am back from a lovely long Winter break.  My first observation is that at exactly 1 minute past midnight on new year’s eve some enthusiastic chap signed up for a 6 month membership - what a great new year resolution!  In fact the new year has started off at a great pace for loving links - it must be the snow. 

We start our adultery year with the Mrs Robinson scandal - Iris Robinson , the wife of Northern Ireland’s top politician attempted to kill herself after admitting to an adulterous affair.  As she says " It had no emotional or lasting meaning but my actions have devastated my life and the lives of those around me."  This is a reminder that random affairs with family friends often end in disaster which is why a calculated liaison with someone well away from the family group is the best path if you feel the need for some nookie.  Affairs only hurt when you get caught - our members know this so they rely on the discretion and safety of our service.

I give up on this story.  The News of the World has got Tiger up to a full 18 birdies.  Whether he has or hasn’t is no longer important.  He was caught and whether it was 5 or 15 women his reputation is shot to pieces.  Its also going to cost him a small fortune in sponsorship deals and a large fortune in a divorce settlement.  Vanessa Lloyd Platt’s £150 ‘Divorce Voucher’ won’t get him or Elin very far!  So far the story - or my contribution to the media noise - has taken me to Radio Liverpool/oxford/London/Wales and Widdicombe Fair!

Starting this week we have installed a ‘newsfeed’ on our main page where snippets of ‘Discreet Dating News’ will be added on a daily basis.  We have a team of adultery newshounds working on this and we hope it will make the site more interesting for regular visitors.

I am logging off for my Xmas break and wish all of you the very best and randiest 2011!

OK where do I begin?  We have been a hotbed of media activity for 5 days now.  I am guesting up and own the country on radio shows like a national golf tour.  We were on 5Live, then Radio Wales, then Radio London, just did Radio City Liverpool, tomorrow Radio Oxford …phew!!!!!  I have a tiger in my tank from all this media energy.  The site is getting lots of new traffic and the chat room is buzzing.  WE have our Xmas drinks party in London this Friday so all is go go go!    Tiger is the best thing to happen to adultery in ages - I am in awe of his duplicity or indeed triplicity lol lol.

Poor Tiger Woods.  The Mr Clean of golf is in BIG trouble.  Ms Jaimee Grubbs is claiming a ‘20 encounter’ affair with Tiger.  She even says that Tiger asked her to remove her name from her voicemail to cover his tracks when the wife phoned.  Oh, poor Tiger you have really f@cked up badly on this one.